Six days I ago I celebrated my 27th anniversary of my priestly ordination. I was ordained by the late Bishop Camilo Gregorio on April 3, 1993. It was at the Parish of St. John Bosco, Makati City, Philippines. It was the Saturday before Palm Sunday. I was ordained before the beginning of the Holy Week. And I was wondering what my priesthood would be. Aside from the fact that I would be celebrating most of my anniversary within the season of Lent or within the Holy Week, what else can I expect from this?

 

Thus I began to look back at my twenty seven years as a priest and reflect on how it unfolded and where do I see the hand of God guiding me. What lessons can I derive from them that can guide me in my ministry now and in the years ahead?

 

First, I do not deserve this gift. Through the years I have been a disappointment for God because I was not even close to what He expects me to be. I often failed and made mistakes. And despite this, he still calls me to follow in His footsteps. Many people know me through their limited encounter with me. They may say that I am not that bad. But if only they know me fully and see my own struggles and failures then they will agree with me that I am not worthy of this gift. No, I do not deserve this gift but God has been merciful and patient with me.  

 

At times like Peter in the gospel today, I am totally at lost at what Jesus is doing and asking me to do. 

Sometimes I lack the comprehension to understand what is happening. Sometimes my mouth seems to be saying something that I should have not said. Like Peter who pulled Jesus to the side and tried to reason with Jesus because did not make sense when He started to speak about His impending suffering and death. Or when Jesus was transfigured and Peter started to say something about remaining on that mountain and never continue their journey to Jerusalem. 

 

At times I still ask God why or I would have doubts about God and His love for me and for those that I am caring especially when things turn for the worst. I struggled with my faith. Yet God would condescend with me and bring me to see everything in the way He sees things and not in how I understand it. He would go down to my level. He has never abandoned me but was always patient with me.

 

And because of these, I do not put my trust in my capacity but in His immense power. He knows better than I can. He sees beyond what I can see. I only have to put my hands in his hand and allow Him to guide me even through the darkness and uncertain realities.

 

Secondly, all that I am and all I was able to accomplish was possible because Jesus enabled me. His grace continues to work in my life and continues to shape me as long as I am willing to submit my whole self to His will. 

 

Jesus washed my filthiness again and again. Like a pig, I would wallow again and again in the mud of sin. But He would be patient to bring me back and to wash me clean. 

 

Jesus can also be very firm and strict with me. He would always remind me, advise me, correct me, and even chastise me when needed. Through events and through the different people that I live with and work with, Jesus continues to mold me and shape me. With such patience, He continues to bring out the best in me. At times like a rebellious teenager, I would struggle and complain but Jesus remains firm in His desire to make me better. And mold me according to His heart.

 

Thirdly, I have the best teacher in Jesus. He did not only teach me by words; he showed it by his deeds, setting an example for me to follow. 

 

I was ordained the day before Holy Week because Jesus wanted my priesthood to be a journey into the very mystery of His love. He wanted to show me that my priesthood should be and must always be “en sequela Christi” – to walk in Christ’s footsteps. 

 

There is no way I can escape this invitation. Jesus consecrated me three times to make me realize how important this journey is. I was baptized when I was a baby. When I entered religious life, I made my profession of the evangelical counsel of poverty, chastity, and obedience. With this profession, I vowed to follow Christ and to be faithful to my baptismal promises in a radical way. I was called to become the sign of perfect charity to the world. And I was ordained as a priest. My calling to follow Christ has reached it pinnacle when I am called to follow Jesus as I minister to the needs of His sheep. I embodied Jesus in a particular and unique way.

 

Like Jesus I am asked everyday to put away whatever self-importance that I may have, and learn to go down on my knees to wash the feet of those I serve. My service should be selfless, humble, and true. It is only by doing this that I can understand in a deeper what Jesus is teaching me: “just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

 

Like Jesus I am asked to put up with the limitations and weakness of others. I never found it better expressed as in the Last Supper with His disciples. Just think about what Jesus has to put up with at that moment. He knew the person who will betray him. He knew that Peter will deny Him three times. He knew that His disciples will be sleeping when He need them to stay with Him while He prayed. He knew that they will all abandon Him when he needed them most. And yet, He celebrated the most beautiful sacrament with them. Jesus still called them into communion with Him. And He wanted them to celebrate this meal until He comes again. 

 

Like Jesus I am called to be broken in order that I can share myself to others. Jesus broke the bread and gave them to His disciples. But it was not only the bread that he broke. He will embrace the suffering he would have to endure that through His wounds we may be healed. Jesus calls me to be willing to sacrifice my very self to give life to others. He calls me every day to die to myself, to my pride and selfishness. 

 

He calls me to bring upon myself the punishment that others deserve that I can help them to be free. Every time I sit at the confessional, I am asking God to remove the burden of guilt from the one confessing. And every time I ask it, I am asking that it be transferred on my shoulders. That is why most often I would come out of that confessional burdened and weary. To see each one come out refreshed and rejuvenated, is a consolation for me but it has a price. And like Jesus, I must be willing to do it for the sake of others.

Jesus is calling us today to reflect on our own common priesthood in Christ. 

 

God has loved us and will always love us even though we do not deserve it. How are we going to respond to His love for us?

 

God has sustained us and will always be there to help us? Do we have that faith to see His grace as we go through our own struggle and difficulties?

 

God has showed us how to live our lives and will continue to guide us. Are we following in His footsteps?

 

Let us pray for all those ordained to the ministry of priesthood that we may lived be faithful in following Jesus and become shepherds after the heart of Jesus.

 

Let us pray for one another, that we may all manifest the face of Jesus to one another in the way talk, relate and share our lives with others.

 

Fr. Pius Pareja. MMHC